Everybody knows who the Beastie Boys are – over the past 20 years, Ad Rock, Mike D and MCA have transformed themselves from squeaky geeks to bleeding edge arbiters of Generation Z cool. They’ve been churning out quality hip hop, belting rock and slightly iffy punk for as long as we can remember, and although their new album “To the 5 Boroughs” isn’t a patch on either ‘Paul’s Boutique’ or ‘Ill Communication’, they’ve still got more good juju between them than a barrel full of lucky Chihuahuas.

Indeed musically, the Beastie Boys have never been afraid to try new things in the hope that something fantastic will come out of it. With this in mind, we emailed them to ask if they fancied doing us a rap about their best animals for the website. Hence this feature.

At this juncture we must point out that so far, they have not had a chance to get back to us. Although we are still optimistic that an Animal Reviews exclusive track is currently in post production, we must admit to being slightly disappointed that it is taking them so long. As an interim measure therefore, may we proudly present to you our own version of the Exclusive Song Written by the Beastie Boys for this site.

Animal reviews - What's it all about.mp3 (1.5 MB)

If you're at work, or if you don't have an mp3 player on your computer, you'll have to imagine the Beastie Boys rapping. As a guide, Ad Rock sounds like a vacuum cleaner, Mike D sounds like he’s been at the helium, and MCA is gruffer, and always sounds a bit cheesed off.

AD ROCK	Yo, my name is Ad Rock and I like cats, Any colour rocks - tabby, white or black, I love the way they come sit on my lap But don’t show me a dog, because they’re wack. Aint never seen a cat committed a crime, Aint never seen no kitten in the pen doing time, So when your bowl is empty of beats and rhymes, I’ll fill it one last time for my main feline.
Chorus	All animals are dope so what’s it all about? Animal Reviews – che-che-che-check it out, From the Pigeon to the Pig with his little Pig snout, From the Ant to the Zebra that’s what it’s all about.
MCA	Yo, Ad Rock the cat is the choice of a fool, Companionship only comes with the mule, Not just an animal, but also a tool, So sit your kids on top, and send ‘em off to school. Now the mule is a crossbreed, this is true, Little bit of horse, pinch o’ donkey too, But the mule is cool, so respect is due, Never melt him down, and turn him into glue.
Chorus	All animals are dope so what’s it all about? Animal Reviews – che-che-che-check it out, From the Pigeon to the Pig with his little Pig snout, From the Ant to the Zebra that’s what it’s all about.
MIKE D	Well I’m Mike D and I got a squeaky voice, So for me the monkey is the obvious choice, If a monkey was a car it would be a Rolls Royce, And if a monkey was a man, then son you’re just a boy. Yes the skills of the monkey go on and on and on, Like a family tree, it’s all evolution, From the pygmy marmoset to his cousin King Kong, It’s gotta be the monkey, monkey number one!
Outro	So at the end of it all we hand it all to you, What’s your favourite beast? It’s time to choose, Each of them is dope, so you never can lose, If you trust in us, and read Animal Reviews.

Animal Reviews would like to thank the Beastie Boys for their help with this feature. Their new album ‘To the 5 Boroughs’ is available now on Brooklyn Dust Music.