We like computer games here at Animal Reviews. It’s likely in fact that had we liked them a little less, this website would have been online years ago and the great Bee vs Wasp debate wouldn’t have gone unanswered for so long. But assuming that you get out a bit more than we do, you’d be entirely forgiven for thinking that the only games you can buy at the moment are ‘Tomb Raider 12’, ‘Eyetoy: Grope!’ and ‘Grand Theft Auto: Chipping Sodbury’.
Well, we can tell you that there’s more variety out there than you might think. Especially if you consider that when we say ‘variety’, what we actually mean is ‘animals in games’.
Think about it. Animals in games. Games in which you can actually be an animal. Go on - think of a game, any game. No, not that one, think of the other one you were going to think of - the one with the frog in it. Got it? Frogger! Not only was it fantastic fun, but in order to successfully cross the road and river, you actually had to think like a frog. It was the not only the first game with an agenda of amphibian conservation at it’s core, but it was the first in a long line of games in which you, a mere human, got to adopt the role of a feral, feral beast.
So in the spirit of this great gaming breakthrough, here are our recommendations for those of you who, like us, like their videogames with just a whiff of animal about them.
ADDED BONUS! Where possible, we've linked to versions of the game that you can play on the internet. Modern technology, eh? Don't forget to read our guide to using the internet at work first though, otherwise you might end up in hot water with the birdwatcher.
Frogger
Format: Arcade.
What animal do you play? A frog. It could theoretically be a toad, but toads don’t live in riverbanks, so it seems more likely that it’s a frog. The game is also called Frogger, which further reinforces this theory.
Any good? An absolute classic. Like Chuckie Egg, this is one of the few old games that you can still have a go on without thinking to yourself ‘I’m sure it used to be better than this’.
Anything else? You can play it a rather good online version of Frogger here.
Score: 10/10
Ecco the Dolphin
Format: Sega Megadrive (or play a disturbing flash version here)
What animal do you play? A dolphin.
Any good? To be fair, a game in which you play a dolphin embarking on a series of eco-missions could have ended up a lot worse than this game turned out.
Anything else? Look at the screenshot of the game below. Now look at this delightful example of dolphin inspired 'art'. Spot any similarities between the two? You're right - the colours are suspiciously similar. As is the island in the background. And the frivolous leaping. In fact, they're identical in every way. Dolphins have got their romantic image sewn up - and Sega fell for it! The fools. This is a game inspired by the very essence of dolphin, infused with the soul of these aquatic berks. And we're going to knock it down a few marks for that.
You can download a couple of 'different' Ecco games here, one of which is a shooty kill game, and looks quite good, whilst the other is a frightening looking role playing thing, which we wouldn't download even if you had a big laser gun pointed at our faces.
Score: 6/10
Dog's Life
Format: PS2.
What animal do you play? Dogs of many differing varieties, all of them great.
Any good? The greatest achievement of this game is that whilst playing it, you actually feel like a dog. It's a hard feeling to describe, but the way that you move, for example, suggests that you really are walking on four legs rather than two. Likewise, some of the doggy the things you can do are just great – like growling at children, or doing a poo and then picking it up and throwing it. You can also possess a number of other dogs over the course of the game, each with their own, perfectly pitched bark. On the downside, it's not quite there as an actual, fully formed game. Perhaps we're too old and demanding for such simplicity, but the truth is that you only ever seem to run around collecting things, which tends to grate after a while. Also the decision to have a running commentary throughout the game from the perspective of the lead dog shatters the illusion somewhat. Especially since the hero sounds like Michael J Fox.
Score: 6/10
Mr Moskeeto Format: PS2.
What animal do you play? Mosquito.
Any good? Probably excellent, considering the fact that you play a mosquito. We haven’t had a play on it yet ourselves, but we imagine that the game involves lots of biting people and sucking blood. From the look of a few screenshots on the internet, there also seems to be a fair amount of looking down girls tops too. 7/10 (provisional)
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