Weevils You will soon be going on a long voyage. Although delicious, the square biscuits that you regularly inhabit will be eaten by pirates, and vast numbers of your kind will perish. Remember: the sound of the biscuit barrel opening is your cue to scuttle away from danger.   Salmon The spawning season starts tomorrow, so today is the day to double check your belongings before the big swim upstream. Avoid sharp looking rocks, which can cause irreversible gill damage, and be aware that your skin burns faster when swimming closer to the surface. Ambre Solaire factor 6 should be sufficient for this time of year.   Deer You will have a good day today, when you discover that the big river you've always wanted to cross is shallower than you thought. Treat this as an opportunity to broaden your horizons and seek out new grazing adventures.   Snails Crossing the garden path is going to be as hazardous tonight as ever, so stay home for once. Tomorrow you'll find fortune as a semi purified courgette lands just behind your favourite plant pot. As the woodlice wont discover it until the weekend, make hay whilst the sun shines.   Hamsters Today you have two choices. In fact, everyday you have two choices. You can either eat normally, or you can cram your mouth full of food and sawdust like some kind of grotesque tupperware container has been grafted onto the inside of each cheek.   Giraffes Good ideas require some effort to make them a reality. Being a giraffe, this goes double for you, although you're not quite sharp enough to work out why.   Water Boatmen Your long running feud with dragonflies will reach boiling point today when you spot a swarm of them attempting to eat your larvae. Diplomacy is a valuable asset in every situation, with the possible exception of this one.   Swans Cheer up for once in your life. A cheque written in your name will bring you closer to someone you despise, which could really be anyone on the face of it.   Honey Bees A confrontation in the workplace seems assured today, as a colleagues fears over honey production land you right in it. Take an extra abdominal breath before getting involved in an argument that could spiral out of control, or simply rise above it by going for a quick buzz around the tulips.   Owls If you've been suffering from a stiff neck recently, you might like to consider spinning your head around slightly less often. Beware of rust this afternoon.   Mandrills Steer clear of the drinking hole today - crocodiles are planning an ambush.   Crocodiles If you were planning on ambushing mandrills today down at the water hole, don't. An insider has tipped them off, and you'll be waiting around all afternoon for scant reward. Why not delay until tomorrow, when they'll assume the danger to have passed.