Week 3 - Cambodia.
19/10/04

So we reluctantly left the monkeys of Lopbury and headed back to Bangkok, where we boarded a train to the Cambodian border. There's very little of interest to tell you about the train journey itself, aside from the fact that it took forever and I finally got around to removing the cellophane from my pristine copy of the Lonely Planet Cambodia. By the time I'd finished the first chapter, "An Introduction to Cambodia" I was convinced I was going to cross the border and step straight on top of a landmine, so I put the book back into my rucksack and vowed never to open it again.

This is what Southeast Asia looks like from the air.
They have the big letters and everything.

When we did eventually get to the border - a haphazard combination of flimsy looking buildings and illicit commerce, we readied our passports and mentally prepared ourselves for the inevitability of intrusive cavity searches by customs officials. As luck would have it, they were far more interested in taking donations from people coming in than going out, so we managed to stroll straight through. A short bus ride later and we arrived in Poipet, the nearest town to the Thai border on the Cambodian side.

Alarmingly, I had been in Cambodia for an hour already and hadn't seen any animals.

Downtown Poipet was, and likely still is, horrible. A dirty stinking hole of a place not unlike Swindon. In much the same way that getting off a train in Swindon railway station fills you with the realisation that the only course of action now open to you is to leave as fast as possible, we knew as soon as we hopped off the bus in Poipet that we had to leave as fast as possible. We decided to shun getting the bus any further, and so lept jauntily into the back of the first pickup truck leaving for anywhere else. The anywhere else turned out to be Siem Reap, home of the world famous Ankor Wat, although it wasn't long before we realised that getting there was going to be a challenge in itself.

I'd like to make it clear that this isn't a photo of me.
I nicked this photo off the internet for illustrative purposes only,
so cannot verify how this slightly rotund chap fitted into that taxi.

If you're one of those people who enjoy being shoehorned into the back of an already overloaded truck with 12 surly locals, under 35 degree sun, with no leg room, and with a driver who is (and this is no exaggeration) homicidal, you'd have loved the journey we took to Siem Reap. If you're thinking that the experience could only be improved by having your posterior continually spanked by an iron bar 'seat' for the entire duration, you have enjoyed it even more. The fact that it took 6 hours and was over roads that stretch the definition of 'road' to breaking point was, for people like you, simply the icing on the cake. All I remember from the journey now, aside from the days of crippling back pain that followed it, is that driving in Cambodia is not an exact science. Which side of the road do they drive on, for example? The left? The right?

Neither in fact. They drive on whichever side of the road you're on.

Siem Reap...