Bat

Guest Reviewer: Neil Clay

There are 14 species of bats in the UK and over 15 species worldwide. Among those native to the British Isles is the Pipistrelle which can often be found foraging in parks and gardens where it feeds on flies and swarms of midgets which congregate around dusk. 70% of bats feed on insects while others eat fruit, pollen, nectar and pork pies.

Vampire bats live not in Transylvania but in Central and South America while the Wombat is found in Australia. Vampire bats rarely prey on people and much prefer the blood of cattle. They consume about a tablespoon of blood each night and are the only mammals apart from humans to regularly use cutlery at meal times. Bats are not rodents and are more closely related to humans; in fact one of my uncles is a grey long eared bat. On average, females have one baby per year and suckle their young while incidents of male pregnancy are rare. Like dolphins they are highly intelligent although as with dolphins they have yet to make any significant scientific or medical advances.

The phrase ’blind as a bat’ is a downright lie as bats are not blind and don’t even wear glasses. They navigate using high frequency sounds and are able to detect in complete darkness obstacles as fine as a human hair. Bald people however confuse them and collisions sometimes occur.

Another mystery solved. Thanks Neil.

Bats are found everywhere in the world except in extreme desert and polar regions and Stoke on Trent. They constitute approximately one quarter of all mammal species on earth. If there were a war between mammals, bats would have the advantage of numbers, nevertheless humans would win as we have the advantage of guns and great big tanks.

Overall Pet Rating: 2/10

Thanks Neil,

But humans wouldn't win. No way. You're forgetting the often overlooked tiger, who could kill a human, even Chuck Norris, in less than a second. It goes without saying that a tiger could also 'have' a bat in a fight, especially if the bat in question was something like a Bumblebat, which looks like it would start crying if you even looked at it a bit funny. Still, a wonderful review. Thanks man.

Theo and Max

A bumblebat. Not that we've been
dying to use this picture again or anything.