Flea Vs Cockroach.

Guest Reviewer: Giles Thomas

I have been fortunate to have shared my house with both sorts of little blighter and I can tell you that the flea comes out on top.

Here are the pluses and minuses:

Flea

Not actual size.

For:

• Can jump 150 times their body length and 80 times their own height
• Only bites my wife
• Can live for months on nothing!
• Perform in circuses

Against:

• Bites my wife
• Caused the plague in 1665 and probably killed 250 million people
• Is nearly impossible to catch
• Can hardly be seen
• Is pig ugly

Cockroach:

You'd have thought that being killed and glued
to a green piece of card would have cooled their desires.
It would appear not to be the case.

For:

• Can't jump
• Often provided as food for pet snakes etc

Against:

• Everything
• Ugly
• Dirty
• Scary
• Noisy
• Hard to kill (I tried dropping a law book on one once, from about 8 feet high (I was standing on my bed) and it lived!!!)
• Cowardly
• German
• A nasty brown colour
• When I lived in Venezuela we had flying cockroaches and one landed in my Coca Cola

Flea Habitat: Everywhere, particularly my cats and Susannah's old house.

And of course on tour,
coming to your town soon.

Cockroach Habitat: Sinks, toilets, dark corners, cupboards. Once on holiday in Florida, I opened a cupboard in the apartment we had rented and there was a cockroach inside, just at eye level. The door remained shut for the rest of the week.

This one appears to hold mysterious powers.
Either that or it has some rude grafitti on it's back.

Fleas as company: You can't see them and you don't want them.

Cockroaches as company: You don't want them but unfortunately you can see them.

Conclusion:

You just have to admire those fleas. As for cockroaches - reach for the poison.

Thanks for the review Giles!

You've covered all of the main points here, but it's very important to remember that as vile as they are, cockroaches can be transformed, Robocop style, into toys.

Errol.

Imagine the fun you could have driving Errol here around your boss' desk, knocking over his pens and pressing the 'do a poo' button next to his sandwiches.

We've no idea what the three LEDs are attached to his head for, but he looks like he's having a lot of fun.

All the best,

Theo and Max.