Lion

Guest Reviewer: Brian Morrison
Habitat: Deserts, the zoo, Whitley Bay

Basic facts:

Lions are members of the cat family, but tend to be larger than the average house moggy. A male lion can reach 9ft long (including tail) and weigh up to 400lbs (about 28 stone). At the end of the tail is a tassel, not naturally present in any other animal. The only exceptions are pets during the Christmas festivities.

Posers

Usual colour is sandy brown, but their have been exceptions. The most famous are the White Lions of Timbavati. I worked nearby, in the Eastern Transvaal of South Africa so know of their existence.

Like many cats, Lions hunt in the dark so their eyes have adapted accordingly. The roar of the male lion can be heard 5 miles away. Imagine being able to talk to friends up to 5 miles away... it would certainly save the phone bill.

Gender differences:

Males seem to have the best life. The wives do most of the food shopping but when the male arrives they get first choice of the meat. Then after a full feed, they can sleep for up to 24 hours, lying in the shade under the nearest tree. They have the neat trick of being able to scent mark trees up high behind them. (Reminds me of us boys at infant school, trying to wee as high as possible at the urinal).

Females although smaller have to do the majority of the work.

Reproduction:

Although the actual "action" is very quick and lasts just a few seconds, it can be repeated every 20 minutes or so while madam is in the mood. No wonder the males are usually found sleeping. Even in zoos the males don't give the viewers much to look at, just the usual sleeping posture.

Nasty habits:

If a lioness has cubs when a new boyfriend arrives, he'll kill them all: have lions never heard of adoption? Seems a bit hard to me, but they probably think it best for their jeans, or should that be genes.

Of all the places to stop and have a ponce,
this must rank as one of the worst

Celebrity Owners:

Probably Joy and George Adamson could be classed as owners, although to say Elsa was a pet might be pushing the definition slightly.

Extra points of worth:

Elsa and her mates were the stars of a great film, "Born Free". This film had a great influence on it's stars and led to the setting up of a famous animal charity. The theme song was brilliant too.

Final Lion Score:

8/10 plus 1 for the film and theme, so 9/10 in total

Hi Brian,

Thanks for the review. You've made some good points, although the score is a bit high for what must surely be the least impressive of all the big cats. Why? Well first of all, let's look at colouration. Lions are a monotone and drab brown colour. Tigers push the boat way out with their stripey orange and black pelts, and panthers look every bit the tuxedo adorned spy dressed up in their velvety black jumpsuits. Even the librarian of the big cat world, the leopard, manages to outdo the lion, wearing as it does a collection of oddly distributed polka dots.

Of course you could counter this by saying that only the lion has a magnificent and flowing mane, and you'd be right. But thinking about it a little more, large dogs have proto-manes that spring up whenever they spot a burglar or feral child.

Finally of course lions live in the desert, which at the end of the day isn't quite as good as living in the jungle. All the best animals live in the jungle.

So it looks like we're going to have to do a bit of score moderation here, and after much consideration the lion gets whittled down to...

Animal Reviews Post Moderation Panel: 5.3/10

But we shall award an extra point for the following picture:

Animal Reviews Post Post Moderation Panel: 6.3/10