Pubic Louse
(Phthirus Pubis)
Also known as: Crabs

Guest Reviewer: James Willis

Habitat

The Pubic and Perianal areas. Sometimes they will inhabit the eyebrows and eyelashes of World War II U-Boat crews.

General

Interesting little fellas. Grey in colour, with adults reaching 1.5 - 2mm in diameter. Pubic Lice are broad and oval shaped with six legs, each of which ends in a vicious looking claw. When viewed under a powerful microscope they resemble crabs.



Looks a bit like an
itchy Transformer

Behaviour

They are haematophagous which basically means that they survive by drinking human blood. The blighters manage to achieve this by sticking their head into a pubic hair follicle. Pubic Lice live for around one month. The females lay three eggs per day (nits) which are anchored to the base of the hosts hair. Both the nits and the adults (nymphs) can survive away from their host for up to 48 hours.

Good Points

  • Very small and easy to look after. Require virtually no maintenence
  • Look like minature monsters. (How cool is that?)
  • They breed prolifically, providing you with many litters to give away to close friends

Bad Points

  • Can cause pediculosis. Painful rash caused by secondary infection following their bites
  • Ownership of these beasties is highly likely to compromise your 'leisure activity'
  • Should you change your mind and decide not to keep these beauties, it takes numerous applications of enzyme shampoo to eradicate them

Exciting close ups of
fangs and claws

Celebirty Owners: (allegedly:)

Drew Barrymore
Jerry Springer
George Michael

Final Score:

On the whole these tiny animals are pretty unpopular. Could not possible score more than 0.01/10.

Overall Pubic Louse Score: 0.01/10

Animal Reviews Independent Moderation Panel:

Come on - it's not really their fault. Mosquitos have already claimed all the exposed areas, and what they don't eat the dust mites take care of. There's not really all that much left by way of warm areas to snuggle up in, but you can't really blame them for trying.

Parasitologists - come on!

Animal Reviews Post Moderation Louse Score: 2.6/10

 

  

 

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