Otter (Mammal).

Notable Variations: Sea Otter, Tarka

Habitat: Rivers, Countryside scenes.

First Impressions:

Good. Otters from the outset have many positive things going for them: they have a good name for starters, the word 'otter' itself conjours up images of fun loving animals frolicking in streams and playing practical jokes on each other; they look the part, and they squeak.

Otters are what is scientifically termed a 'Combo-Animal', that is, they dwell both on land and within the aquatic realm. They are also very sweet and have expressive little faces. As mentioned above, the otter carries with her an air of mischief, a laconic vivaciousness which to the common observer is highly attractive.

So, first impressions are overwhelmingly positive. But what secrets does the otter hold? And more to the point, how excellent are they? To answer this question, the team decided to go to the zoo, in order to see otters living wild in their natural habitat.

Behaviour:

Upon reaching the otter enclosure the team, clipboards in hand, immediately noted the otters high spirits and uncanny resemblance to seals, only with proper legs. These little beasts race around the circumference of their yard with breathtaking agility. Although accurate measurements were hard to calculate, the team estimated that an otter could reach a speed of 7.8mph on land, and a slightly lesser 4.4 knots whist swimming. NB - This landspeed, when compared to the equally proportioned Badger, is mighty impressive. Sadly, it wasn't long before we observed that the otter's tail was practically without use on dry land. What a wasted opportunity.

Skills:

Skillwise, otters impress: swimming is a given, but swimming whilst lazily lying on one's back, smashing a sea urchin open against a rock balanced on one's little otter tummy is a big draw. Perhaps the greatest skill of the otter is that of merchandising, as the likeness of the otter is to be found on a vast collection of teatowels, magnets and other related countryside themed goods.

Good Pet/Bad Pet:

The panel is of the opinion that the otter would make an excellent pet.

Celebrity Owner:

The following celebrities may or may not be the proud owners of an otter:

• Harold Faltermeyer (composer of 'Axel F' and 'Theme from Fletch')
• John Cleese
• Dwight Yorke

Verdict:

Overall, the Otter is an excellent animal. Look, here's the proof:

+ Good Name, size, weight and speed, both on land and in the water
+ Silly behaviour and mischevious sense of humour
+ Can be trained to appear in shows, thereby giving back to the community
+ Harold Faltermeyer may own one

- Wasted Opportunity with the tail
- Likeness of beast commonly appears on tat (eg. Limited edition plates,
small 'collectables', pound shop tea towels)

Overall Otter Score: 8.8/10

Hi guys n' gals,

Looking through your site, the Otter review reminded me of the time I took my young daughter to a petting zoo in Crystal Palace.

You may not be familiar with this little oasis of wildlife tucked away in the depths of South London, but if you get a chance you ought to send one of your famed reviewers along because not only do they have world class animals such as pigs, goats and cows, but also peacocks and a myriad of other beasts I've never seen before. They also have Dinosaurs! I'm not jesting you. They really do. Luckily, I was also taking along a friend's little boy who knew a shed load about Dinosaurs. He pointed out a Fiercosauras to me. I'm glad he was there to tell me as I thought it was just a humble Diplodocus.

Anyway I digress from my original story of taking my child to the petting zoo, which by the way was during one of the coldest winters since time began. Icey floors, snow, biting wind, the works. It was proper brass monkeys.

So there I was with mini me (except she is a girl) pottering around getting to see up close & personal cats dogs, goats chickens and the like, when she spies from the corner of her eye something that she's never seen before scampering around as happy as a sand boy. It was an Otter! He was diving in and out of the icy water performing for the gathering crowd in his own area replete with ramps, shoots, water slides the lot! He didn't seem to be bothered by the Baltic level of weather in fact he appeared to be reveling in it whilst the crowd, ourselves included were shivering enough to make our teeth rattle in our heads. The little show off.

My little girl turns to me and says "Dad, that's how I wanna be this time of year!" "What you mean diving in and out of freezing cold water & eating fish morning noon & night?" I answered a bit worried for her mental stability (as a father you have to, it's yer job)

"No silly" she said looking at me like I was an imbecile, "A little Otter"

So there you go. From the mouths of babes comes your answer to who is the coolest animal throughout the winter months. It has to be the Otter!

PS - You should try a Tarka Dal. It's like yer regular curry, only... Otter!

Laters - Dave

Thanks Dave!