Slugs

Guest Reviewer: Tom Hunt

Ahhh the slug.... Perhaps the most misunderstood creature in the world. Simple and beautiful. Understated and sexy. Yet people still dont want to know! Slug pellets are thrown like pick and mix at a pantomime across cabbages the world over in the hope of ending the lives of these beautiful animals.


Habitat:

Slugs live peacefully and harmlessly in gardens across the world on a diet of lettuce and cabbage. They prefer shady warm and wet conditions, and grow up to 6 inches long. They spend their days wallowing in their own mucus.

Like a really happy snake.

Four things you should know about the slug:

1. Slugs have two little antler/ tentacle thingys on their heads that look like E.T.'s fingers which allow them to feel their way around
2. Slugs are members of the gastropods family alongside snails
3. They are slimy because they ooze their own mucus
4. They are ridiculously cool


Why should I care about the slugs?

1. They leave psychadelic silver trails everywhere they go - why not pick them up and paint your room with them? It could look groovy as hell.

2. Slugs take it easy. We can learn a lot from them, as they always get where they want, and do so calmly and leisurely. Think about it, when have you ever seen slugs hurrying or rushing to be somewhere? Probably never. You'll almost always just find the silvery carpet of snot that they have left behind. What can we take from this? Well, I think slugs are telling us that if we would only relax, slow down and enjoy ourselves a little more in this world, we would see that anything is possible and we can all get to where we want in life.

3. Slugs are fearless. They dont hide away in their shells like those pathetic snails. They face the world head/antler on and take life how it comes. Slugs are the "Rockys" of the bug world.

Slug verdict:

+ Friendly and well meaning
+ Groovy silver trails
+ Cool E.T.'s fingers antlers/tentacles things
+ chilled out
+ Fearless

-they are ugly
-covered in mucus
-taste bad in sandwiches

Overall Slug Score: 8.4/10

Whoa there. We agree entirely that slugs are fantastic - any animal that can move it's eyes independantly of each other is doing well in our book, but don't start having a go at snails. The slug and the snail are allies in the veg patch world, and when the sun goes down the veg patch is a very scary place to be.

Not as scary as an old mansion, or a sunken shipwreck, but still a bit scary. There are earwigs and centipedes down there, and probably something oozey next to the compost heap.

So come on - let's see a little bit of mutual love for the slugs and snails here. Snails are just slugs with a fixed abode after all.

For your cruel attack we're docking slugs half a point. And then we're going to dock them another half, just because they're allergic to salt. I mean, salt? What is there to be allergic to about salt? It's just salt.

Thanks for the review! Theo and Max